Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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