is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
