Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
