there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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