wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize