Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
