I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
