i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize