i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Your cock deserves a montage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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