Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I smell stomach acid.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize