the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
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