Taylor Swift is so right about you.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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