I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I think my fart just growled at me.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
