a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
