I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.