marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
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