Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong

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(248): the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong http://tfl.nu/52o9

Replies (2) Good night (934) Bad night (565)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.

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(513): I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence. http://tfl.nu/wy8q

Replies (14) Good night (2819) Bad night (1007)
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(702): View more from Nevada

the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!

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(702): the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry! http://tfl.nu/25bg

Replies (32) Good night (5051) Bad night (1103)
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(802): View more from Vermont

and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?

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(802): and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina? http://tfl.nu/mzx1

Replies (47) Good night (758) Bad night (6199)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats

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(267): your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats http://tfl.nu/u2vh

Replies (10) Good night (4504) Bad night (1350)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated

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(603): I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated http://tfl.nu/wizt

Replies (8) Good night (2501) Bad night (963)
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(305): View more from Florida

It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.

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(305): It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you. http://tfl.nu/cw12

Replies (26) Good night (5699) Bad night (1096)
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(916): View more from California

My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.

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(916): My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher. http://tfl.nu/1p6a

Replies (2) Good night (1455) Bad night (1229)
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(813): View more from Florida

So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.

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(813): So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges. http://tfl.nu/t5l6

Replies (6) Good night (1775) Bad night (580)
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(707): View more from California

It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.

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(707): It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know. http://tfl.nu/9rsw

Replies (20) Good night (1686) Bad night (672)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.

(816): View more from Missouri

I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.

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(816): Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night. (816): I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it. http://tfl.nu/9xew

Replies (6) Good night (1745) Bad night (743)
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(734): View more from Michigan

Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.

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(734): Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go. http://tfl.nu/sxv0

Replies (7) Good night (1138) Bad night (552)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops

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(908): Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops http://tfl.nu/wq2e

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(571): View more from Virginia

In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.

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(571): In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades. http://tfl.nu/v1fc

Replies (18) Good night (1326) Bad night (578)
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(863): View more from Florida

Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.

(813): View more from Florida

You always make things weird.

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(863): Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower. (813): You always make things weird. http://tfl.nu/1vvg

Replies (7) Good night (1226) Bad night (443)

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