Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  wanna go halves on a baby?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): wanna go halves on a baby? http://tfl.nu/z3oe
  Replies (18) Good night (1135) Bad night (908)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem. http://tfl.nu/6hmf
  Replies (34) Good night (1887) Bad night (709)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia. http://tfl.nu/ba5j
  Replies (8) Good night (792) Bad night (4419)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (626): Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is. http://tfl.nu/41jw
  Replies (24) Good night (18079) Bad night (866)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form. http://tfl.nu/if3v
  Replies (14) Good night (4947) Bad night (2665)
• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (435): She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life. http://tfl.nu/8hnp
  Replies (29) Good night (6895) Bad night (951)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round http://tfl.nu/7y9k
  Replies (18) Good night (8192) Bad night (918)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you http://tfl.nu/m5id
  Replies (2) Good night (2031) Bad night (817)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo? http://tfl.nu/900o
  Replies (4) Good night (2207) Bad night (811)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night? http://tfl.nu/53hk
  Replies (7) Good night (3790) Bad night (866)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that. http://tfl.nu/b2kf
  Replies (5) Good night (2258) Bad night (859)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA http://tfl.nu/ecmd
  Replies (16) Good night (764) Bad night (885)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me. http://tfl.nu/tvzh
  Replies (3) Good night (1042) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche http://tfl.nu/ro2o
  Replies (5) Good night (702) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo. http://tfl.nu/f2jj
  Replies (8) Good night (472) Bad night (180)

Randomize