Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(615): View more from Tennessee

one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars

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(615): one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars http://tfl.nu/tq7c

Replies (14) Good night (1098) Bad night (3175)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.

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(651): how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night. http://tfl.nu/2trw

Replies (47) Good night (8695) Bad night (940)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.

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(617): we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life. http://tfl.nu/dy8h

Replies (17) Good night (5336) Bad night (810)
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(540): View more from Virginia

I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.

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(540): I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him. http://tfl.nu/377w

Replies (31) Good night (1768) Bad night (6003)
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(515): View more from Iowa

I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.

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(515): I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy. http://tfl.nu/r54x

Replies (8) Good night (866) Bad night (5885)
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(703): View more from Virginia

just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.

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(703): just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking. http://tfl.nu/uhxv

Replies (15) Good night (1769) Bad night (5365)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense

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(920): I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense http://tfl.nu/23hg

Replies (5) Good night (2809) Bad night (812)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.

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(503): Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook. http://tfl.nu/p6bz

Replies (15) Good night (8334) Bad night (1389)
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(+84): View more from

The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white

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(+84): The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white http://tfl.nu/gomk

Replies (8) Good night (3070) Bad night (715)
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(410): View more from Maryland

So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?

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(410): So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right? http://tfl.nu/zwo3

Replies (15) Good night (2999) Bad night (1333)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.

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(201): Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain. http://tfl.nu/l4y5

Replies (11) Good night (2770) Bad night (1536)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.

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(701): Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man. http://tfl.nu/tr3t

Replies (7) Good night (3187) Bad night (567)
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(312): View more from Illinois

i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.

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(312): i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me. http://tfl.nu/c5n9

Replies (3) Good night (1859) Bad night (449)
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(310): View more from California

I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.

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(310): I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know. http://tfl.nu/cmhk

Replies (2) Good night (694) Bad night (352)
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(541): View more from Oregon

I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat

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(541): I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat http://tfl.nu/x333

Replies (3) Good night (372) Bad night (386)

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