Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
