I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
where are my eyebrows?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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