I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
