he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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