you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
