People with herpes should wear stickers.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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