you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
