I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize