just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
