Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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