It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
as a side note pls kill me
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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