i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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