When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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