Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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