I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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