So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
