Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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