it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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