the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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