I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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