Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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