Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
