Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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