In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
