Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
