Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
