He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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