Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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