i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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