i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
