She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
