I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
