is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
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