Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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