I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
