just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
