we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
