i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
