I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
