Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
i think im in europe. pls send help
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
