I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
so that wasnt chicken after all
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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